Tales of Schmoe

Summer Shows that The Schmoejoes Knows - UPDATED

First off, I fixed the little calendar on the left there, so you can actually see the details (about time) That's the first place I update with shows; you can subscribe to it via the little plus button on the bottom. Secondly, for you lazies, I'll try and keep this post updated with the latest. You can bookmark the permanent link, or subscribe to the RSS feed up top.

Here comes the science!

Saturday, 6/14/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ O'Gara's

One of our rare Twin Cities visits - get there early, and you might get a free shirt!

9pm - 10:00 - The Schmoejoes
10:15 - 11:15 - Slack and Daylight
11:30 - 12:30 - Plotting The Crime
12:45 - 1:45am - Magic Black Pumas

$6 cover, 21+

O'Gara's Bar & Grill
164 Snelling Ave. N., St Paul, MN 55104
651-644-3333

Sunday, 6/15/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ Solstice Music Festival - UPDATED!

The Schmoejoes in a big field, with other great bands. The closest you're going to get to Woodstock in this decade!

Due to another scheduling conflict, we're taking 3 in a Tree's spot, at 6pm, and they're taking ours at 1pm. Note to the Gin Daddies, who are now opening for us: Don't drink all my beer.

More info and tickets: www.solsticemankato.com
Land of Memories Park, Mankato, MN

Saturday, 6/21/2008 - The Schmoejoes Record!

We've heard that most bands make this CD thing with songs on it. We're going to Pachederm Studio in Cannon Falls to give it a try.

Friday, 7/4/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ Lakefest

The Schmoejoes go unplugged in the great outdoors, and steal beer from your cooler! Then, fireworks in the sky. Every show of ours should close with fireworks.

No cover - We play @ 7-9pm, but there will be stuff going on all day!

Lakefest
Clear Lake Park
Waseca, MN 56093
507-835-3260

Saturday, 7/5/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ Barden's Bar & Liquor - UPDATED!

CANCELED DUE TO SCHEDULING, Damnit (We're looking to see what we can do for you on that day...)

The Schmoejoes clean up the mess from the Waseca All-School Reunion. This only happens once every ten thousand years, so don't miss it!

No cover - Show starts @ 10pm

Barden's Bar & Liquor
110 State St. S., Waseca, MN 56093
507-835-5343

Saturday, 7/19/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ Barden's Bar & Liquor

The Schmoejoes return to Barden's, home of the 'joes!

No cover and no covers! - Show starts @ 9pm or whenever I finish my drink.

Barden's Bar & Liquor
110 State St. S., Waseca, MN 56093
507-835-5343

Saturday, 7/12/2008 - The Schmoejoes @ the Rueb-N-Stein

The Schmoejoes invade Northfield, MN with our pals, Depot Creek! More fun than riding the elevators in Watson at Carleton College! (I had nothing to do with that...and those are not my initials up there)

No cover - Show starts @ 9pm

Rueb-N-Stein
503 Division St. S., Northfield, MN 55057
507-645-6691

August 31 - June 2nd - TBA

When we know, you'll know.

Oh, Shirt!

Unbelievable. I post a note on /. about buying shirts, then don't have any up AND I post a broken link. Here they are! $15 bucks via the great and evil paypal. My apologies, my hot internet shirt model didn't show up for work today.

Support your local band! (Since the interwebs mean everyone's local, I figure I will need 6 1/2 billion shirts.) I have most sizes - If you have any questions just ask. Thanks!

I should point out that these shirts were designed by yours truly, as my mom will want to know.

(Of course, I'm an idiot, as I'm posting a page full of images to Slashdot...)

If you hate shirts, go see our painfully trebly new videos on youtube...

So much to say...

no time. So come see us in person, already.

We're playing the Midtown Tavern in Mankato with Depot Creek on Friday, March 28. 3 bucks gets you in, and if you buy one of our new shirts there, we'll give you 3 bucks off.

If you're not blind and live in Kato, I'm sure you've seen one or more of our posters that Craig (from Depot Creek) and I put up. Here's the 'Hot Rods & Hobo" silkscreened poster Tom from Evolution Shirts in Henderson, MN made for us,

and the sweet letterpress poster that Craig printed on his giant Heidelberg printer(you can find some of his work at Tin Can Valley). You'll also find another poster from Depot Creek's own Jeremy on the Depot Creek site. I was supposed to have one going, but managed to be far too busy. grr. Next time! Awesome work all around.

Speaking of awesome work, Tom made some shirts for us that rock if I do say so myself. As they feature two fantastic designs by yours truly, they're the greatest shirts you'll ever own. They've already been going fast, and I haven't even put them up here yet. I have to wait for my model to come though...

They'll be at the show, just like you. What else ya gonna do?

The Schmoejoes on New Year's Eve!

Break all your resolutions in the first 5 minutes of 2008 with The Schmoejoes!

Yes, we are playing Barden's Bar in Waseca on 12/31/07 AND 1/1/08 - Sober cabs are provided, for you Drunky McDrunkersens, and there's no cover, so you can spend all the 5 dollar bills you got from your auntie this Xmas on liquors!
It's going to be swell, and we will see you there.

The Schmoejoes Return

The Schmoejoes return from a rather long break, and with a new man behind the drums - Bob.

Jay is well and off pursuing his vision quest with his film production company. If you have any gigs/money for him, you can reach him here: jay@theschmoejoes.com

Bob used to play in The Lovejoys, with me, Patrick, and Woody back in the day, so we've already figured out how to piss each other off, and know the joy of twelve person audiences before the Playstation 2 was to blame.

Here's The Schmoejoes playing on a boat recently, with Bob floating around in back there. It might help to have a couple before you watch, to even things out.

We'll be coming to a town near you soon.

Mac OS X Google Pagerank Widget fix

If you are not an Apple geek, close your eyes and wish yourself away now. This has nothing to do with music or The Schmoejoes. On the other hand, if you're a Mac geek, read on.

If like me, you use the Google Pagerank Widget to see how awesome you are, and found it broken one day, I have a fix for you.

Go into User->Library->Widgets.
Control click and 'Show Package Contents'.
Open pagerank.js in TextEdit or something textylisious.

Change line eight from:

xmlhttp.open('GET', 'http://purl.oclc.org/NET/GPR?url=' + url,true);

xmlhttp.open('GET', 'http://purl.oclc.org/NET/GPR?url=http://' + url,true);

(You're adding 'http://')

Save and close.
Open Dashboard, and restart widget with apple-R.

Worksy-worksy! Please note: I'm a dummy. If your widget continues to not work correctly, you're going to have to hit up Ran Aroussi.

We now return to rock 'n rolliage.

Summertime, and the livin' is easy...

Hey kids! Summertime is here, and I've been lazy. Lots has been going on recently with The Schmoejoes - hope you Minneapolis city-folk caught us when we played with Seymore Saves the World on the 14th of June @ the Uptown Bar and Grill.

Those of you more local to the 'Joes may have caught us in one of our rare sunlight performances at the Solstice festival in Mankato. We went on at 1pm and almost melted under the big heat lamp in the sky. Everything went according to plan though, and we stayed to watch our pals, The Gin Daddies mess the place up with some rawkabilly.

Upcoming quickly is an even more rare occurrence, a solo acoustic gig by me here in scenic Waseca, on the Fourth of July. I'll be doing some of The Schmoejoes' tunes, some of my early early stuff, and a random cover or two. I may even attempt the harmonica. If you're that desperate to see me and my singery-songwritery side, it's Lakefest in Waseca, and I'll be onstage in Clear Lake Park from 3-4pm. It starts earlier if you got some free time...

The Schmoejoes return to duty on August 2nd, from 6-7pm at the Mankato Ribfest. We'll be warming up the stage for Soul Asylum, who needs no introduction. There are some other bands playing that night, but as you're here, you only care about us, right? :)

The week after that, The Schmoejoes will be at Music and Movies in District del Sol - Parque Castillo in St. Paul, MN on August 9th. The movie that will be playing after we get done rockin' is 'A Cinderella Story' starring Hillary Duff (who is a HUGE fan of The Schmoejoes). Since the site says that we are 'Funk', we'll do what we can to funk everything all up. We're going to funk you, in other words. tee hee.

There are a few other shows on the burner, and I'll post them as I confirm them.

Thanks to everyone who's come to see us, we love you crazy SJ fans!

New Video n' Such!

It's been a long time since I posted any new video, so here it is! I've posted a few things to the YouTubes, and the Myspace; here's some YT links to our infamous 2-set St. Patrick's Day show at the Inferno Tavern:

bewithme dontcomehome

Don't watch them too many times, you'll wear out the tape.

Of course, I've posted links in the 'Pics' section, and I'm sure you can find the same ones if you visit our Myspace page, because you're smart. Everyone says so. Sadly, I don't have any footage of Seymore Saves the World's performance, but you'll be able to see us together on June 14 at the Uptown Bar in Minneapolis, and you can bring your own damn camera.

To all you Silvertone geeks: there she is, the Silvertone 1446L with kung-fu Bigsby action.

How'd it Go? The Schmoejoes at Bunker's

The Schmoejoes played Bunker's Music Bar & Grill on Saturday, April 7th, and it was about as surreal as it gets.

If you ask, I'll tell you that I lived in the Twin Cities for quite a few years, before I met my lovely wife, and moved to Waseca. Since I've been down here, I've gotten pretty lazy about making the hour and a half drive up to the Cities, even though I only have to turn right, then left, and left again (punctuated by lengthy straights). A side-effect of this laziness means I don't see my old pals nearly as much as I used to - once a day has turned into once a year.

Imagine seeing people you haven't run into for 10 years, all in one room - and then you get up on a stage and perform. Odd. It was kind of like a dream, where you see all these people from your past, but you don't have clothes on - or they all have fish heads, or something.

The show itself went pretty well - the sound was great, the beer was free and endless, and the audience was close, appreciative, and I got the distinct impression that they were actually there to see the bands!

I'm looking forward to seeing my old pals again, and meeting new ones when we play the Uptown, on the 14th of June. See you there!

Happy Birthday to The Schmoejoes!

April 3rd was the 3rd birthday of The Schmoejoes, and it passed with no party, presents, or birthday song. sigh

I admit, I didn't expect any.

It reminds me of a time long, long ago, when I was talking to a teenaged-girl about the band I was in then (which will remain unnamed ;). We spoke about the kind of music she liked, and I mentioned that she'd probably like my 'Unnamed Band'. She asked how long we had been together, and I proudly said, "5 years!", as that was rather unheard of - most Minneapolis bands had a life span of two years before breaking up. Lead singer sleeps with keyboardist's girl, and suddenly, Drama!

The teenaged-girl snorted derisively, and said, "Pfft. I only listen to new music."

I just stood there with my mouth open.